Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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