you traded sex for a burrito?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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