I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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