Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
