Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
