party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize