he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
