What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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