weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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