How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
