Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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