how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
