i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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