Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
