If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
