Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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