So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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