It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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