Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
