I want to make a zoo with you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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