I wish my penis had an off switch
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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