Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
