On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
