We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
