I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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