my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
