Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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