So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
