um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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