Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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