used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
