need another drink. this is the easiest way
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
