id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
