i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
home. puking in laundry basket.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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