A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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