idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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