woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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