I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
