i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We were destined to go to rehab together
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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