the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
