sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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