Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
