what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
