Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
