he thought i was a dude.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
