I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
