i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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