Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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