I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
