can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
