I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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