you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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