yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
