Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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