Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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